


together

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, thIS TOOK ME SO loNG Oh mY GOD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-12
Updated: 2014-04-12
Packaged: 2018-01-19 01:44:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1450705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"whatever happens, we fall together."</p>
            </blockquote>





	together

They stand on a ledge of rock that juts out over the lake. At five years old, Bertholdt has heard stories of the older kids jumping off the exact same ledge he stands on and he is scared. But then again, he has been afraid his entire life. He takes a breath to steady himself and he shivers in the unseasonably cold summer air.

He shakes his head before looking to the blond boy a year his senior. "I can't do this, Reiner."

"Yeah you can," Reiner says before nudging the dark-haired boy forward.

Bertholdt's toes curl over the edge of the precipice and he looks down at the listless water, watching the breeze create ripples across its surface. He is pulled out of his contemplation when he hears Reiner shuffle next to him.

“We do this together or we don’t at all.” The other boy murmurs before taking the younger’s hand.

When Bertholdt goes home sopping wet later that day and his parents ask him why he jumped into the lake, he just tells them that he trusted Reiner.

**+**

He doesn’t tell his parents that he nearly drowned.

**+**

Now he is eleven years old and he feels like an intruder in his own house. He looms over the small bed his parents sleep in and he sweats even though the winter drafts blow throughout the house, leaving it ice cold. He listens to his mother’s soft breathing and he cannot believe that he is doing this.

He starts shaking. He collapses into a ball, huddling by the nightstand and buries his head in his hands. Tears spill over and burn their way down his wind-chapped cheeks. He hears the bedroom room door creak open and then footsteps coming towards him.

“Did you do it?” Reiner asks him, crouching to his level.

Bertholdt shakes his head rapidly.

“Damn it, Bert.” Reiner hisses. “Get up.” He reaches for the younger boy and grabs him by his arms.

Once Bertholdt is on his feet again, Reiner shoves the gun into his hands. Bertholdt fumbles with the gun, his fingers searching for the trigger. Reiner steadies Bertholdt by resting his hands on his shoulders and grips hard.

“Remember, together or not at all.” He reminds him.

Bertholdt gives him a slow nod before pushing him aside and walks to the side of the bed. He raises the gun in his hand, aiming at his parents’ heads and shoots twice, emptying out the clip.

**+**

They don’t make any sound but he can’t seem to get rid of the screams.

**+**

They run in the snow until they are safe in the backwoods that encircle the land beyond his house. Bertholdt falls first. He trips on a blanketed tree root and the gun falls from his hands. It skitters across the forest floor and Bertholdt pulls his knees to his chest after resting his back against the bark.

His breathing is erratic and shallow as he sobs. Reiner seats himself sloppily next to him, the snow crunching under his footfalls.

“How can you be so calm? After what we’ve done?” Bertholdt asks, not daring to look at him.

“I have to be calm. For you.” Reiner mumbles, his chin resting on his forearms.

They sit in silence for what seems like hours, but in reality are only a few minutes. Time weighs down on them and Bertholdt breaches the quiet.

“I can’t do this without you.” He whispers, tears threatening to rebel.

“Me neither.” Reiner says.

**+**

“Whatever happens, we fall together.”

**+**

They enlist in the military the following year.

Bertholdt keeps to himself while Reiner does not. He has the audacity to make friends with all of the other trainees while Bertholdt is left alone to fend for himself. He doesn’t want to admit it, but Bertholdt has grown dependent of Reiner. He can feel pieces of him withering away the more and more he spends meals by himself, watching Reiner fraternize with the recruits.

Days pass and Bertholdt has stopped talking. He communicates in mandatory yes's and no’s but other than that, he makes no sound.

On the sixth day of his silence, Reiner confronts him about it.

They sit shoulder to shoulder on the porch of the men’s barracks for night watch and Bertholdt looks out over the flat expanse of land before them. Reiner studies him, memorizes the slope of the boy’s nose, and traces the outlines of his cheekbones.

This time he breaks the silence.

“What’s wrong?”

Bertholdt shrugs, “Nothing.”

Reiner presses on. “You’ve stopped talking.”

Bertholdt shrugs again, indifferent.

“Bertholdt. Look at me.”

The taller boy finally looks at him and leans in to press their lips together. It’s a gentle kiss but Reiner is surprised. He hesitates at the feel of Bertholdt’s lips against his but he does kiss him back. Reiner moves his hands from his lap and places them on Bertholdt’s hollowed cheeks before pulling him closer to him. His fingers creep up to the other boy’s hair and he threads his fingers through tufts of dark hair.

Bertholdt breaks first. He takes a heady breath before resting his forehead against Reiner’s and he looks into his brown eyes, before sighing into him.

“I loved you. Since we were mere children.” Bertholdt breathes, exhaling deeply. “I trust you, I gave everything I ever had for you.” He fills his empty lungs with air before saying, “And I still do. I still love you.”

Reiner sighs, “I know. And I do, too. I really do.”

Bertholdt touches his nose to his and he blinks slowly. “Together or not at all, Reiner.”

“Always.”

**+**

When their shift is over and they return to the warmth of their beds, Bertholdt asks Reiner if they will be killed for what they have done from the start.

**+**

The end comes in three parts.

Reiner tells one of his comrades everything: from the day he and Bertholdt shot their parents in their sleep, to the countless lives they ended when they broke down the outer walls years ago. Reiner is drunk, considering he has had around two and a half contraband bottles of alcohol a fellow trainee had smuggled in from the squad leaders’ barracks. His comrades do not believe him when he first confessed to his crimes but when he repeats his words over and over again, they are lead to give credence to his revelations.

One of the boys sitting in runs. He runs to the squad leaders’ barracks once the boys’ barrack is asleep and he tells the leaders everything, not missing a single word.

**+**

Two beds are empty in the morning and the boy bleeds on the floor alone.

**+**

The second part comes when Berholdt and Reiner hide in an abandoned cabin they find in the very edge of the woods.

The silence of the forest cannot conceal them for they are found within days.

Whatever rations they could steal in their uniform jackets deplete before they have time to figure out where to turn. Bertholdt worries as he sits in a dark corner of the cabin.

“We have to go,” he babbles. “We can’t stay in one place for too long.”  
“Where can we go, Bertholdt?” Reiner asks and he piles the remainder of their food.

“I want to go back home.” Bertholdt answers, childlikeness seeping into him.

“We’ll never go home. You and I both very well know this fact.”

**+**

They are no longer lost, they are now as good as dead, and they both keep it in the back of their minds.

**+**

The third part is all a blur. The two of them manage to slip out of the cabin and they manage to hide in a nearby town. But they soon are discovered by men from the Military Police when the two try to pass through one of the many gates between the walls.

They are to be hanged the following morning.

**+**

After the necklaces of rope are around their necks, they are asked if they have any last words and they answer with “together or not at all”.

**+**

_“Together or not at all?”_

_“Yeah. If we fall, we fall together.”_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry oh my goD


End file.
